


Tremble

by pleasedontkilllevi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Battle, Dark, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Kakashi Gaiden, Male-Female Friendship, Original Character(s), POV Original Character, Protective Hatake Kakashi, Protective Uchiha Obito, Romance, Uchiha, Uchiha Massacre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-05-15 08:03:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19291630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasedontkilllevi/pseuds/pleasedontkilllevi
Summary: After being rescued from her unfortunate circumstances, Imari Matsui is brought into the loving arms of Team Minato. Her future is looking ever so bright, but when the Third Shinobi War breaks out she is ripped from the friends she had just begun to trust and is lead down the path of following Obito towards his goal of revenge that he so desperately desires.Years after the war resolves, having dedicated herself to the organization Obito pledged himself to in hopes to achieve the dreams of their savior, she is sent on a mission to return to Konoha once again.A task that leads her to question everything she had fought for including the dream that would finally bring peace to the world, as she is faced with the love, an emotion she had long since disregarded,  she finds in a home she had long since forgotten.KakashixOC





	1. A Meeting

Silence had hung in the air throughout the stiff dinner. Hoping for anything different would be nothing more than a fanciful wish. It had been this way for as long as I could remember. He, at the head of the table. Rarely looking up. Rarely making a noise. She to his left, but severely distanced from him due to the manner of placement at the lengthy table that housed the occasional dining event, would make short comments about the gossip she had caught from the women she busied herself with while he was absent in his long hours of business. I sat directly to her front, my otou-san's right yet no closer to  Otou-san than her. Speaking only when spoken to, it was good etiquette that was of the utmost importance when dining with such men and women like my otou-san and his wife. 

"Imari," His voice held a deep timbre, that commanded authority.

"Otou-san?" I asked halting the cutting of the pastry we had been served for dessert.

"I would like a word with you following dinner." He wasn't looking at me when he said it, he let his fingers run over the freshly polished china from which he was drinking.

"Yes, Otou-san," I bowed my head. It was rare that these things happened; him calling upon me. In times past, it had been to question the knowledge I had gained from my private tutoring lessons. In my more formative years, it had been calls to discipline, though I deeply doubted this was the case now.

It was beyond me what he wished to discuss, though my mind didn't quite as the conversation had and I fell restless in thought the dessert left only barely touched.

***

His office was just as severe as the dining table that stretched the miraculous length of the ornate room. The finely detailed windows created a wall with which his back faced in his large leather chair that was sat at his heavy marble desk. Everything in the office was crisp, a deep contrast between black and white. Most of the manor was furnished in this way, however, his office held a fantastical amount of detail from the black tiled flooring to the large window panes to the empty fireplace that was only lit on the coldest of nights.

I took a seat in front of him, legs swinging off the large leather chair.

Silence encroached us as he slid open a drawer, pulling out a thin file, holding only the briefest of pages. He flipped through them gently, eyes delicately looking over the information.

"Otou-san?" I asked, the curiosity of why he had called me forcing its way into my every thought. It was barely a whisper but the silence so deep and empty made the quiet sound echo.

The only response I received was his sharp green eyes a glimmer of anger shinning as he surveyed my blank face. His eyes snapped back to the paper, as he continued to skim and flip through the pages.

"I had thought, Imari," the words came out in a slow rumble as he placed a threatening tone on each syllable "that after everything I had taught you, you would show more respect for your authority figures in matters such as these."

"Yes, Otou-san," I said immediately. "I apologize."

"And with your stumbling over words," The melodic was sharp and ticked. "You really are quite shameful. With everything I've taught you, you'd think you'd behave better."

This time I hesitated in pause.

"Yes, Otou-san," I said, taking in the way he still hadn't looked at me but noting the way his fingers had departed from the papers and stilled on the edge of the desk curled and tense. "I will do better. I'm sorry."

"Very well," He acknowledged, though it was barely a murmur. "At least you have some potential."

He stood up from the chair and walked over to the window observing the greying sky. "Imari, you are nine, is that correct?"

The question startled me. Otou-san rarely asked questions that weren't important, and I feared what this one meant.

"Yes, Otou-san,"  I replied, doing my best to keep my voice steady.

There was silence, my eyes trained on his back.

"I suppose then, that an apology is in order," He held no emotion in his voice as he uttered those words

"Otou-san?" I asked attempting to keep my voice calm, barely restraining the anxiety that desired to seep through my fear laced words. Otou-san never apologized. Never. Especially not to his daughter. 

"It appears I have made a mistake," Otou-san's voice was stone cold. "One that to be forgiven is in need of a sacrifice."

I was startled by the statement. "Sacrifice?" The words barely escaped my mouth. "Otou-san what does this have to do with me?"

He said nothing before he turned back around and sitting once more at his desk. He took the pen that had previously laid unused and signed the papers that he had once been shuffling through.

"Otou-san?" I asked once again, the fear evident in my voice.

"It has been done," he stated, his eyes like ice as he stared directly into mine, showing no ounce of regret. 

"Excellent," the office door swung open as a man heavy in his footsteps approached the desk, whisking up the papers and looking them over before glancing me over. "It appears everything is in order then."

His pale skin was lined with scars, and his eyes, a dark black, glittered with malice. His hands gripped the hilt of his sword as he looked at me, grin widening with every second.

"What a pretty little thing," His smile only grew wider as he stretched out his arm, thin, cold fingers barely touching my hair. "Yes, this will do quite nicely."

I was rigid with fear. 

"Take her. Leave." Said Otou-san. "My debt has been forgiven and you've got what you want."

"Otou-san?" The situation becoming clearer with every second. "Otou-san he isn't going to take me, is he? Otou-san?"

The man laughed as he grabbed me. Otou-san remained quiet.

"You'll be easy won't you?" The man said. "You won't struggle? I don't like it when they struggle."

And with those words, everything went black.

***

The dark was something I had grown accustomed to. 

After he had taken me, I had felt the hot needles of pain as the iron burned into my skin, enflamed numbers, my new identity, stitched into my skin. The man, that I would later learn was the leader of the ring to which I was sold, who had taken me was the leader of the whole operation. He had taken a liking to me. He used to visit me every night.

 He would touch me. Make me say his name. He would take me. 

His visits, though less frequent in the days that I arrived, still occurred too often. Still made me lose hope of ever escaping. Still made me feel the desire for death. 

Yes. The dark was something I had grown accustomed to. 

***

_Thirty._

_Twenty-Nine._

_Twenty-Eight._

Time. Precious, valuable time ticked away. He would be coming soon.  

_Twenty-seven._

_Twenty-six._

_Twenty-five_

I could hear his quiet footfall amongst the emptiness I was surrounded by.

_Twenty._

_Nineteen_

_Eighteen_.

To breathe was to work.

_Seventeen._

_Sixteen._

_Fifteen._

I knew what he would do. I knew he would claim he loved me. That he was showing me what the other men who visited my cell couldn't do. Only he could love me. 

_Fourteen._

_Thirteen._

_Twelve._

Love. If this was love, I didn't want any part of it. 

_Ten._

_Nine._

_Eight._

I heard a click. The unlock of the door. Calm. I needed to be calm. Breathe. I needed to breathe. 

_Three._

_Two._

_One._

Time was up.

***

The door slammed open, and I prepared myself for his presence. I closed my eyes. Fighting back the tears that always threatened to make an appearance.

"Miss?" That wasn't his voice. I opened my eyes to find a boy. The goggles covering his eyes didn't hide the surprise that stretched across his face at my appearance. His hair stuck in all directions, refusing to be tamed. His navy outfit outlined in orange askew. "Are you alright?"

I opened my mouth, before stopping. He had probably done this. To kill me what little was left before he sold me to another. That was all this was.  A cruel joke.

The boy approached me further. 

"Miss?" He asked concern laced his voice. 

"Don't touch me," My voice croaked from the lack of use. His eyes widened. 

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said. He continued to walk towards me slowly.

"That's what they all say," It came out as barely a whisper. As he grew closer, his youthful age became more apparent. So did the symbol that rested upon his head. "You're a shinobi."

"I am," He said calmly. "My team and I were given a mission to check this place out-"

"Obito," A feminine voice sounded from his headset. "What's taking you so long? Kakashi and I  finished."

"I'm coming Rin," He said into the microphone, before looking down at me. "Why are you down  here?"

I shook my head, this wasn't real. He had to be acting. 

"Please," Obito implored, his eyes deep with worry.

Instead of a response, I showed him the scars that littered my skin. Scars that I had received when I first resisted. I showed him the number branded on my skin. Never to be erased. 

He inhaled sharply. 

"Please," He began. "Come with me. We can get you out of here. You'll be safe. Please."

I looked at him. 

Maybe. 

His fear for me, genuine.

Maybe this wasn't a joke. 

"Please," Obito said. "You don't have to be here. You don't have to fear this." He gestured to the room, his body tense, frantic with concern. 

I reached for his hand. My steps uncertain and my body fickle. 

He grasped it and smiled. 

***

"Rin!" He said, my body weight, not that it was much, rest upon him. "I need your help! Where's Bakashi?"

"Obito!" I heard a gasp, the same feminine voice, Rin. "What happened?"

The light was blinding. 

The air flood my lungs. 

Noise. The trees, leaves rustling. A creek gently rippling. 

The smell of earth. Of freedom. 

It was overwhelming, and just as I had found the light I faded to dark. 

 


	2. An Introduction

"Miss, can you hear me?"

The light burned yet I peeled my eyes open to be met by the gaze of the young nurse attending to me. 

"Where am I?" The words croaked out slowly, as I glanced around the room. It was white. The bedding, the walls. The nightstand, a lightened wood structure small, and simple, displayed a small vase of sunflowers. The window, large, letting an easy breeze cast over the room making it feel even more open than it already was. 

"You're in Konoha," This was a new voice. I turned to be greeted by a young man, eyes blue and calm. His blonde hair fell to his shoulders and regarded me gently. He gestured to the young medic that she was free to leave; He could handle the rest. 

"Uzumaki-san, don't you think that she needs more care? She just woke u-" She appraised him before his voice interrupted hers. 

"My student has done a fine job healing her," He smiled. "She will be fine."

He wasn't wrong. Though I held no recollection of his pupil, my body hadn't felt as weary as it had during my time in my cell. I was able to see and breath and feel life. It was exalting. 

"Very well," her lips thinned as she exited the room. 

My eyes trained on the man. "Who are you?"

"I believe that is the very same question I should be asking you," He smiled, his guard not dropping as he approached the bed. "Though I suppose I can indulge you, my name is Minato Namikaze."

His name radiated power, though I had never heard it before. 

"And what is yours?" He asked, smile still present. 

For a moment I hesitated and the numbers on my arm seemed to burn in remembrance. I breathed deeply. Numbers. I wasn't the numbers seared into my skin. 

"I am Imari," I said. The name fled my system. My relinquished identity, returning to me once more. 

"Imari," Minato smiled. "What a lovely name." I stared at him, not knowing what to say. Who was he? What did he want? 

I turned my attention to the window, eyes trained on the trees as their branches swayed, leaves dancing in the gentle breeze. Birds chirped and flew above, and the laughter of children and gentle conversations of families amiably walking in the streets below softly found their way through the trees. I had never felt more at peace.

"Why am I here?" I asked, gaze not breaking. 

"What is your last memory?" The question held no malice, despite the deflection of my very own. 

"I was in that room," I said. The cold and dark rushing through my veins. "They had me there. I couldn't leave. He didn't let me leave." I swallowed, my throat suddenly tight, the memories ricocheting against another. It would never leave. It could never- 

"The boy," I said suddenly. 

"They boy?" He asked, surprise empty and a knowing, compassionate gaze of bright blue eyes met mine. 

"Yes, there was a boy," I swallowed. "I thought. I thought He was coming. I thought He would be- But then it wasn't. It was a boy." I thought back to him. Black eyes, hair as dark as midnight disheveled. The symbol.

"He was a shinobi," I recalled slowly. I was met with the very same symbol at rest upon Minato's head. "Just like you. His name was Obito."

It suddenly fled back to me. His tender motivation. How he had brought me from my cell. The first time I had seen the light before the dark all too quickly reclaimed me. 

"There was another," the memories echoed. "A girl. Rin. And a boy? Bakashi?"

A laugh escaped the Minato, his eyes shining with mirth. "My students, though I'm sure Kakashi wouldn't appreciate it if you called him that," he said, pride and amusement rang clear in his voice. "Yes, it was Obito who found you. A surprise to me and everyone else. No one, save you, was in that building."

My eyes widened. 

"I was the only one?" The surprise and apprehension clear. 

"It appears so," he said, he was leaning against the door now. 

"But. But-" I stuttered stuck on the word. What had happened? "There were others! He was there and his friends. They-"

"Yes," He said. "We found remnants of activity, yet we found no one but you." The realization was startling. Where had He gone?

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked from the lack of a response I could give him. 

"We couldn't leave you there," He said simply. "That would be of poor character. Both as a Shinobi and human."

I nodded in understanding. "What are you going to do to me?" It was the real question that I had needed to ask in the very beginning. 

"Well, if you haven't any famil-"

"They're gone," I said severely. Memories of my father signing the paper that had sealed my previously undeterred fate rushed my conscious.

"Very well," He said. "Then I suppose there is only one option available."

I looked up at him, eyes wide in anticipation.

"You are to become one of Konoha's."

***

"Imari-chan!" Excitement filled the air. I turned to find Obito walking towards me, as I exited the hospital. "You're okay!" He was followed by his team: Minato and his other teammates that I had assumed to be Rin and Kakashi. 

"Of course she's okay," Rin smiled. She was quite a pretty girl; brown hair fell to her shoulders and purple marking graced her gentle face. Wide brown eyes observed Obito and me with amusement. "If she wasn't she wouldn't have been discharged."

Minato smiled at the interaction. He had checked on me the days following our conversation, though I hadn't seen the team he had spoken highly of since my rescuing. 

"Why are you here?" I asked, my gaze trailing over the group before locking eyes with their sensei. 

"We're here to take you to meet with the Hokage!" Obito grinned. 

I looked up to Minato, who only confirmed that statement with a small nod of acknowledgment. 

"Come on, Imari-chan!" Obito grabbed my hand. "We'll lead the way!"

***  
The office couldn't be anything further from what I could have imagined. 

It was nothing like Otou-sans. 

There was warmth. A simple circular room, rectangular windows lining the length of the room at various intervals. A large wooden desk sat in the middle, the village's symbol engraved at its front, held a fair share of paperwork. The old man sitting behind the desk was strong in stature despite the kind look his eyes held as we were escorted into the room. 

"Imari-san," He said. "I've heard many things about you."

I looked to Minato, not knowing what to say, who stood behind me with his students at his side. He pressed an encouraging smile. 

"Sir?" I asked.

"All good things," He smiled. "No need to fear. Minato-san has enlightened me of your terrible misfortune, and it is to my understanding that you are in need of a home."

"Yes, sir," I said, gaze meeting his. "That would be very kind."

"In this village, we pride ourselves on the peace we have promoted for generations," His voice began to grow an edge. "And we certainly would hate for that to be disturbed. Do you understand?"

The threat was clear: If I proved to be a problem, there would be no hesitation in solving it. 

"I understand," I said, my voice unwavering. 

"Good," He relaxed once again. "Now that we have that underway, we must figure out a place for you to live and how you will earn your keep around this village-"

"Hokage-sama?" Hesitance decorated my voice. 

"Imari-san?" He questioned, kind despite my blatant interruption. 

"If you will allow me," I began. "I would like to be a Shinobi."


	3. A Roomate

"A shinobi?" His voice was laced with mirth, his eyes twinkling curiously. 

"Yes, Hokage-Sama," I bowed my head. "I would like to become a shinobi."

"Interesting," he hummed mulling over what I had just requested of him. "While I would gladly allow you a place as a villager, you becoming a shinobi causes me hesitation."

"Sir?" I asked, unsure of what he meant.

"You do understand that we are on the verge of war," he hummed thoughtfully. "How do I not know that you weren't meant to be found and infiltrate our ranks through becoming a ninja? What reason do I have to believe this is something you truly desire?" 

"Hey, you didn't see her when I found he-" Obito's mouth flew open in defense, disdain written over his face.

Minato hushed him, "Hokage-Sama is right, her becoming a kunoichi is skeptical due to the time that we find ourselves in." Obito grumbled in response. 

I looked up at the Hokage, his face gentle yet a sharp threat clear in his eyes. "I have no way to prove to you that I am not from another village. My father was a businessman, I have no idea where he is or what he would even say if we found him. He is the one who sold me to those men," emotion filled my chest as I fought back the memories desperately wanting to resurface. "I have nowhere else to go, no one to pledge my loyalty to. I have no meaning. No purpose. If I were to become like those that saved me, perhaps I could save others like myself in the future. Please, this is all I ask, give me a purpose." The desperation wrung clear throughout the room. 

There was silence, as the Hokage examined me, his gaze never failing to break contact with mine. 

"Very well," he said finally. Relief fled through me. "I'm afraid there is no room for you in the academy and as I am still not sure of your intention I will have to put you under the supervision of someone else.

"Team Minato," He continued. "I have a new mission for you."

The four of them stepped forward slightly. Minato at the head followed by Rin, Obito, and the boy who had remained silent for the duration of the time I had seen him. His lack of speech was fitting to the manner he presented himself: a masked face, eyes lacking any emotion, his hair a silver that stuck in all unruly directions. 

"You will look after Imari, train her, teach her what she needs to know, while also conducting your regular load of missions."

"Hai, Hokage-Sama," they bowed in agreeance. 

"This still doesn't solve where you are going to live." Hokage-Sama rested his face upon his hand. 

"She can stay with me!" Obito declared. 

"Baka," Rin cut him off. "You know you can't do that, your clan would never take in an outsider like her." She gave me an apologetic smile. 

"Kakashi," Hokage-Sama called upon the third silent member of the team. "You have an extra room in the apartment you just recently moved into, correct?" 

He paled a shade lighter. "Hai," he agreed. 

"Excellent," He smiled. "It would be a great service if you would take Imari in, just until she can afford her own housing."

"Very well, Hokage-Sama," He kept his voice neutral, but the aggravation was clear in dark eyes. 

***

Leaving the Hokage's office, I was lead by an extremely reluctant Kakashi, who still had yet to acknowledge me. Rin, Obito, and Minato had gone there separate ways after instructing us to meet at their regular training grounds early the following morning. 

"Hurry, up." He said bluntly, frustration clear in his stance. His shoulders were taut. His hands clenched in fists by his side. 

I quickened my pace but kept my distance. I had learned well enough to stay away from men when anger was clear in their frames. 

We eventually arrived at the small apartment, he unlocked the door and I found myself in a pristine small room, a kitchen adjacent. Everything was orderly. Nothing out of place. 

"This is my room," he gestured to the door that was down the narrow hall, a bathroom at its end. He pointed to the door directly across from his. "This is where you will stay. Do not touch my things. Do not enter my room."

I nodded. "Thank you," I said. He looked up at me, a lack of emotion in his eyes. "For doing this, this has to be the nicest thing anyone has done to me."

He didn't say anything in response. Just nodded his head and walked to his room, closing shut the door behind him and leaving me in the silence of my own thoughts. 

***

The following morning I awoke to silence, save for the few birds gently chirping from the trees. This was an all new experience. The light. the sounds. The calm. Never had I felt so at peace. There was a knock at the door. I got out of bed the floorboards creaking ever so softly under my light weight, to open it. 

Kakashi was looking at the floor. He was already in his daily attire despite the early hour. "We need to get you to the training grounds," He said still ignoring eye contact. 

"Okay," I said. "Um, I-"

"Yes?" He finally looked up, eyes piercing. 

"I don't have anything to wear." I gestured to what I was wearing. "This is what the hospital gave me but-"

He sighed vehemently. "We still have several hours, we'll go get you something." He began to walk towards the opening of the apartment, shock ringing through me as his previous apathy fell to still a rude disposition, but one where generosity wasn't excluded. 

I smiled, following in his footsteps as I made my way after him.

***

Having just barely opened, we made our way into the small clothing store.

"Ah, Kakashi-kun! It's good to see you!" An elder woman smiled from behind the counter. "What can I do for you?"

He gestured to me, "She's new and needs clothes fitting of a ninja."

"Ah, very well." She smiled as she walked over to me. "Follow me-" She paused unsure of what to call me.

"Imari," I offered my name. 

"Yes," She held a calming gaze. "Follow me Imari-Chan, I think there are some things here that would be perfect for you."

***

We left with my new attire, a thin light grey shirt, and dark shorts made of a material that I was promised would easily stretch to the movements I would be experiencing in my training and out in the field. The remaining clothes we would pick up after training. 

"Thank you, Kakashi-san," I smiled quietly. "You didn't have to."

"Sure I did," He grunted. "You are my responsibility now." My eyes widened a fraction, and I nodded unsure of what else to respond with. 

We found ourselves in silence as we walked side by side in the streets of Konoha buildings towering amongst our small selves. Warm colors reflecting the early morning sun and few people found themselves on the streets. 

"Have you ever trained before?" He asked uncharacteristic of his normally somber attitude. 

"No," I shook my head. "I was educated with basic knowledge before I was, you know. Before all of that."

"I understand," He nodded glancing at me quickly before turning his attention back to the road. "It's better not to reminisce on those things. You'll let it consume you. Trust me."

It was my turn to glance. His posture had gone tense, his eyes held a sheen of self-loathing. 

"Kakashi-san wha-"

"We're here," he said firmly, cutting off all hope of discussing what had clearly risen a painful memory. He walked over to a tree leaning against it. I stood in the middle of the clearing. 

"Now what?" I asked looking at him from across the field. 

"Now, we wait." He breathed, as the sun made rose it's way further into the sky and we stood with patience for the team that would surely arrive later than instructed.


	4. Chapter 4

Pain, sharp and striking shot up my legs with every step.

“You know you don’t have to do this anymore right?” I turned to Minato who had called from the sidelines as sweat fell from my brows into my eyes creating a sting making it hard to see him.

We had been running for only thirty minutes, the others had long since arrived and were on many more laps than I could ever hope to be on in my unfit shape.

“This is only to gauge where you are at physically,” Minato approached, a comforting look dancing across his face. “We don’t expect you to be the best. You’ve never trained like this before.”

“Yea!” I turned to the loud voice, Obito was approaching us. Sweat barely alive on his skin despite the growing heat of the noon sun. He stopped his jog to stand next to me and Minato. “It’s really amazing that you’re even doing this! Most would just let there past ruin them, but not you Imari-chan! You’re fighting! You may not be physically able to keep up with us yet, but I have no doubt that you’ll be able to one day!”

I smiled up at him shyly, “Thank you Obito-san.”

“We’re teammates now,” he threw an arm around me smiling widely. “No need for such formalities.”

I small smile fell upon my face, “Okay, Obito-kun.”

Minato watched us, smiling.

“Mah, Obito! You’re never going to be good enough if you don’t finish your laps. You’ll let our team down,” Kakashi called as he ran past us. 

“That bastard,” Obito growled in response. “We can talk later Imari-chan, I’ve got to go deal with Bakashi.”

He returned increasing speed as he fell into a steady jog to catch up to Kakashi.

“He’s right,” Minato began.

“About Kakashi-san being a bastard?”

“No,” Minato laughed. “Kakashi can be rough around the edges, but he’s compassionate when you can really get to know him; not an easy feat I’m afraid.”

I thought back to this morning when Kakashi had taken me to get clothing for training. All be it a bit reluctantly, yet he has still shown some ounce of caring emotion. I nodded in understanding of what he said.

“What I meant was that Obito is right. You shouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself that you feel like you’re drowning.”

“But Minato-san-“

“It’s sensei now,” Minato smiled compassionately.

“Right, Minato-sensei,” I began again. “I thought the only way to progress was through putting pressure on yourself.”

“Hmm, I suppose in part you’re right,” He watched as Rin passed by on her run, waving hello to us. “But, it’s a balancing act. You can’t put yourself under complete and utter pressure because if you do you’ll collapse.

“It’s like this,” He began in explanation. “If you look at the Konoha Mountain, each and every face of the past Hokage was carved, through what? Through pressure. Just as the sculpting shaped a large part of our town. It is the metaphorical pressure that prompted those men that eventually became the leaders of this very village. It was pressure enough to push past the plateau.”

“Plateau?” I looked up at him quizzically.

“They pushed past mediocrity. That’s the plateau, accepting that where you are currently at is where you will stay.” He locked eyes with me. “But just because you don’t accept the succumbing to mediocrity, doesn’t mean that you have to kill yourself to change the world in one night. It takes time, but most importantly it takes balance. Balance between pushing yourself and letting yourself heal.

“You’ve got what it takes, you’ve got grit; something some shinobi still don’t possess after years in the field. But please be more lenient on yourself,” He implored. “It’s only your first day, you’ll improve with time. Got it?”

There was a severity in his eyes. I nodded, the only response I could conjure to his small motivation.

“Good, now how about we go see about testing your chakra control?”

***

“Rin-chan!” Obito shouted at the end of practice. “Want to go get lunch with me?”

“Sorry, Obito,” Her eyes were locked on Kakashi’s back as he was walking back from his small spar with Minato. “I’m busy.”

He looked deflated as he watched her eye their teammate.

“Imari-san,” his voice startled me, as I was met with the black mask and silver hair that was even more disorderly than normal.

“Kakashi-san?” I queried.

“I’m going back to the apartment. You’re cooking dinner tonight,” he pulled a couple of bills from his ninja pouch. “Go get food from the market. I don’t care what you make.”

His voice was cold, impersonal. I glared slightly at his attitude, before reminding myself of his hospitality. This was his money after all. He had bought me the outfit I was currently wearing. He was allowing me to live with him, on Hokage orders sure, but I’m sure could have come up with some excuse to get out of the command. Though I had known him only a day, he held a level of confidence and respect that seemed to some levels unbeatable.

“Oka-“

“Hey, you can’t talk to her like that!” Obito exclaimed pointing a finger at Kakashi.

“Obito-kun,” I hissed, as the height of Kakashi's cheekbones turned a light pink in what I imagined to be irritance. “He’s fine.”

“But Imari-chan!” He huffed. “You can’t let him bully you.”

“He’s not bullying me, Obito-kun,” I responded shortly. I turned back to Kakashi. An impassive cold facade fell over the scope of what face was visible as his eyes leveled over us.

“Whatever,” Kakashi responded. “Bye.”

I stood by Obito as we watched him walk away. Rin who had been leaning against one of the posts that were littered throughout the training grounds realized he was leaving and stood up shortly following after him.

“Kakashi-kun!” She grabbed his attention as they walked out of the training grounds.

Obito’s fists clenched as his face turned red in what I assumed to be anger.

“Are you okay Obito-kun?” I observed him quietly. He looked up at me, letting the anger roll off him as he tried to calm the storm brewing from within.

“Imari-chan?” He asked.

“Yes, Obito-kun?”

“Want to come to lunch with me?” He smiled tensely. “I’ll buy.”

***

We were sat in thick silence at a small stall deep into town. He was glaring at the table, his dark eyes held the deep fire of hatred.

I looked up at him tensely, “Uh, Obito-kun-

“Stupid Bakashi!” He slammed his fists down on the table. “So cool! So suave! What a hero!” He exclaimed sarcastically, before resting his head in his hands groaning in frustration.

“Is this about Rin?” I asked timidly. Perhaps it was best to just let him rant.

“You noticed?” He peaked up.

“Well I mean,” I shrugged. “I mostly watched you guys practice after completing my skill assessment. You barely kept your eyes off her, and she. Well she-“

“Barely keeps her eyes off of Kakashi,” he groaned. “I know. I don’t understand what she sees in that masked bastard. He’s so cold and careless.”

I nodded. It was true. He was cold, impassive at times. It seemed that he lacked every level of human empathy, based on the way that he treated Obito and Rin during practice.

Yet that hadn’t been my treatment thus far.

“I don’t know Obito,” I shrugged. “I think people like who they like.”

“Yea,” he said as our ramen was placed in front of us, a gentle itadakimasu shared between us. “But I still don’t know why girls like her attracted to the bad boys. They think they’re so cool, but all they’re going to do is leave a trail of broken hearts. Why don’t girls go for the good guys? Like me. Surely they’d end up much happier.”

“So humble,” I teased under my breath.

“Hey,” he laughed, before taking a bite of his ramen. “But you know what I mean.”

“Yea, I know.” I smiled somberly. “But I’m afraid I don’t have any answers for you.”

“I’m not sure either,” he smiled before turning to me. “Just promise me something Imari-chan, as your new best friend?”

“Best friend?” I smiled inquisitively.

“Well I mean I mean Rin is my first love. Kakashi is, well he’s awful.” He played with the ramen in his bowl. “And well it seems only fitting. I found and saved you from them. And well now you saved me from descending into anger.” He laughed. “And isn’t that what best friends are? Kinda like our own personal saviors?”

“I suppose you’re right.” I locked eyes with him, light-reflecting in his dark eyes. “Though you still haven’t asked me what to promise to you?”

A somber hope rang through his posture.

“Promise me that you won’t fall for the bad guy.”


	5. A Crack

We were sat in silence on opposite sides of the room. He was absolved in reading, and I held the Bingo Book I had been given by Minato to begin memorizing. Ever so often I would glance up at Kakashi as his eyes scanned the pages of his book. I wish I could claim the silence was peaceful. It was anything but that, despite the non-confrontational activities we found ourself in.

“Kakashi-san?” I asked.

“What?” He didn’t look up from his book.

“What are you reading?”

“You wouldn’t find it interesting,” He shot back, eyes still trained on the page. “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

“It’s not a stupid question,” I said more to myself than to him. “I just wanted to know what you were doing, or rather— reading.”

We fell back into silence.

Living with him had been like this. Quiet and tense. Despite the fact that I had now lived with him for two weeks, we were still two strangers living together. I knew nothing about him, really.

“Kakashi-san?” I meekly caught his attention again.

“What?” He grumbled.

“Can you come to watch me practice? I dislike sitting around and doing nothing.”

“You practiced this morning,” his voice was curt. “Besides, you aren’t doing nothing. You’re studying your enemies; learning their techniques. That’s hardly nothing.”

“Yes,” I agreed. “But what good is learning my enemies if I don’t even have the basic skill sets to even fathom standing a chance against them.”

He huffed disdainfully, “If you don’t have the knowledge of your enemies strengths to shape your basic technique, to know what you’re fighting, then how can you even fathom crossing these shinobi? We could go in circles with this conversation.”

And with that, we fell in silence.

He continued to read.

I returned to the book as well.

However, I was wholly unsatisfied. I mustered courage and confidence, two qualities I often lacked, that Obito had been trying to draw out from me since our first lunch and our frequent interactions since the occasion.

“But Kakashi, you train outside our routine practices,” I said pushing a bite into my words.

“Yes,” he snapped. “But that’s because I am both more experienced in this field, I have more stamina, and I am training to achieve the rank of Jounin. I am not going into this blindly. Unlike you.”

“Which is why I'm asking for your guidance. How is there any difference in your training than in mine— we're both trying to get better.” I instilled strength in my voice. “Besides if you know it best, if you are so achieved, don’t you believe you could help me?”

“No,” his answer short.

“Minato-sensei told us yesterday,” I began. “That until you can teach it you don’t know it. How can you know that you really are the-“

“I said no, Imari,” his eyes broke from the page to glare at me.

I wouldn’t let him deter me.

“Kakashi-san, please,” I said steely. “You would make an excellent teacher”

“I disagree fully.”

“Why?”

“Because I hate people,” he shrugged haughtily.

I opened my mouth to respond, not being able to conjure any words that would be suitable for a response.

I threw on a smile that would make Obito proud, “Surely Kakashi-san, I am no ‘people’. Surely you can’t hate me.”

He looked up at me, emotion lacking, “Surely you do not want me to answer that.”

“But Kakashi-san, what if you learn something,” I implored.

“Learn something?” He finally broke his gaze from his book. “As if. What could I learn from you? You’ve only been doing this for two weeks.”

“Yes, but I’ve got experience.”

“In what?” He scoffed.

“Life.” I said it clearly, putting on a bravado that Obito took on when he was trying to impress Rin or boast of his excellence over Kakashi.

“Life?” He was unimpressed.

“Yes, you may be the brightest shinobi of our age, but that doesn’t mean you’ve seen the sufferings of life. I have.” I held my head high, confidently, like I had seen of the Uchiha when they discussed matters with others exempt of their clan. Obito had pointed this trait out to me, how it showed unbreakable confidence, power even, over the one you were talking to. “I can show you these things. Show you the compassion that you—”

This was surely not the right way to receive his help; this pointing of the flaws. The tops of his cheekbones turned a bright red, though not in embarrassment or love. Rather it was the kind of rage that brought the heat to the height of cheekbones and brought a gleam of disgust in the darks of his eyes, silencing me immediately.

“Don’t misplace my lack of an overzealous presentation for one that is too cold for care,” he growled. “I have killed, have been killed through the blood that stains my hands. Death and I, you see, are one and the same. You know of the nightly terrors, those of men seeking deplorable comfort. But I know, Imari, the terrors of the light. Have you ever seen death in such a mangled way that it haunts your every step? I know death so intimately, it greets me like a lost lover every time it graces my door.”

“Kakashi-san I—” An apology is already dancing on the tip of my tongue. He continues.

“You speak of compassion?” His voice was cold. His shoulders were broad. Rigid. He took a deep a breath in, heightening his chest as his body expanded in both breath and anger. He held his head high, as I shrunk more and more into myself. Obito, his words, were long forgotten. “Compassion, that let me assume you would have claimed I lack. Let me ask you Imari, is it not compassion that brought you into this home in the first place? Is it not compassion that has led me to care for you? Is it not compassion that saved you from the slums you came from?”

“Kakashi-san—” I began to feel the tears well against my eyes, as guilt ruled my body.

His glare cut through me. He stood up and I watched as he crossed the room, setting the book down calmly. It was instances like these. Where outright anger was less fearful than the one that was controlled. Balanced. This anger. The silent one, was the worst of them all.

He took a breath.

“Don’t assume,” his eyes had cooled. The lacked the previous anger that had been so evident. They lacked anything. Everything. Tension still filled his body, but not emotion was visible from the height of his cheeks, the curl of his hands, the depths of his eyes. He was ice. “That just because you were a victim of a plot that you had no control over and that I, because of my current success, am inexperienced in the sufferings of life. Such an assumption couldn’t be further from the truth.”

We were wrapped in silence.

And I observed him, as a tear fell from my eyes. My voice felt as knotted as my stomach. Regret curled my hands into fists.

Kakashi was not the gentlest of souls, that much I knew— he was angry, cruel, and riddled with hate, he exhibited that in every training session. But as I watched him leave the room, hearing the gentle shutting of his bedroom door—book in hand, I understood that I had judged him wrong.

There was much more to Kakashi Hatake, then people thought. It was not cruelty, anger, and hate for others that ruled his soul. It was resentment for himself, for a guarded past that was hidden deep within wall after wall.

But in his admissions, whether either of us knew it or not, I had made a crack.


End file.
